I am tired today. There is physically tired, emotionally tired, and then there is mom tired. Being mom tired consists of all of the above and then some. It includes never being able to silent your mind or achieve that deep coveted REM sleep. This is because you are constantly thinking, worrying, and caring for your small child. There is no OFF time. There are no breaks. And if you're at your wits end and feel like you can't go on anymore, well, there is no quitting.
My son's dad went back to work Tuesday morning after the holiday weekend. He works in another state some 9 hours away. I have been picking up extra shifts at work and bussing Roman all over the state while I am working and on call. And to make matters worse, half of my support system is also out of town on vacation. It's true what they say, it really does take a village.
Roman is not handling the changes well. His "sleep regression", and I quote because I still don't know what the hell it is, is back in full force and he's keeping me awake at all hours. When I leave him, he clings to my leg and cries for his mommy to hold him. It's heartbreaking. When I get home in the evenings, however, he is a little monster. Constantly whining, crying, and throwing little temper tantrums till he gets his way.
Let's not even discuss the state of my house. By the way, did I tell you I'm in the process of buying a new one? So there's that too. I haven't done the dishes since MGK and Eminem were friends. Groceries are nonexistent. Boxes are stacked up in every room in preparation for the move. The whole place has been overrun by a dog and a toddler and I've basically given up on trying to convince anyone otherwise.
Thankfully, the end to this chaos is near. Once we get settled into our new home, hopefully within the next month, we can start to get back into a "normal" schedule. I can't wait for Roman to get moved into his "big boy" room and finally have room for all his toys. As far as this momma getting any more rest in the future is undetermined... Probably not till he graduates high school. Who am I kidding? The worrying will never stop. Once a mother, always a mother!
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